Prom season can be an exciting time for high school students – especially seniors anticipating their last big high school dance. For parents, it can be a bag of mixed emotions and fears.
If you’re a divorced or separated parent, it may also mean more communication and cooperation than you’d prefer to have with your co-parent. However, if you’re sharing custody of your teen, it’s important to find a way to put your issues to the side as you strive to make this a special and safe night for them. Let’s look at a couple of key things to focus on.
Expenses
It’s important to determine how much you’re contributing to your teen’s prom expenses and how you’ll divide the expenses you’re helping with. These may include clothes, tickets, transportation, dinner, flowers, photos and more.
If possible, it’s best to have a conversation with your co-parent about whether you’re both helping them foot the bill, and then work out the budget with your child together. This shouldn’t be a competition to see which parent will splurge for a limo or designer attire or who is agreeable to letting them stay out all night.
Rules
It’s important to form a united front when setting rules like how long they can stay out, where they can go, whether they can drive (or let one of their friends drive), how often they need to check in (with both of you) and so forth.
Even if the two of you have different rules in each of your homes (for example, for curfews and check-ins), it’s a good idea to agree on these things for prom night, regardless of whose parenting time it falls under.
Prepare for more milestones
Remember that prom is just one of the milestones that you and your co-parent will need to navigate as your child moves from being a high school student to a college freshman. There will also be looking at schools, graduation and moving into their college housing (nearby or maybe thousands of miles away). Maybe your child is considering taking a gap year to work or travel. That’s a big decision that you’ll both want to weigh in on. It’s important to let your teen experience those milestones without having to worry about their parents bickering.
Even though most of your child-related agreements will end as they become an adult, there may be things you want to codify, like college expenses. Reaching out for legal guidance can help if you have questions or concerns.
