Some spouses can summon the spirit of “conscious uncoupling” when filing for divorce. While that might be the ideal way to accomplish a marital split, other couples get mired down in vitriol and a rash of allegations.
The latter are considered to be high-conflict divorces. Read on to learn some tips for managing communication with your soon-to-be ex-spouse.
Establish firm boundaries
What you allow is what will continue, so make sure that you both define and defend your boundaries. Don’t weaken or allow any egregious behaviors to occur. One way to do this is to choose a public spot like a police or fire station to make all custody exchanges. You may also want to bring a neutral party to accompany you for these tasks.
Control the narrative
Things can’t devolve into a he said/she said if there is documented evidence of what actually occurred. There are special apps designed for communication between former spouses and/or co-parents. When used by divorcing spouses, they can prevent incidents of miscommunication that might otherwise escalate. When you must communicate, keep all discussions focused on the specific topic. Respond clearly without rehashing old problems or situations.
Start a divorce log
Any missed pick-up dates or broken agreements should be documented with available evidence, e.g., screenshots, witness testimonies, etc. Your legal team may later use this information as evidence in your divorce or custody battle.
Scale back your digital presence
Social media posts have tanked many a divorce case. It is always prudent to avoid posting updates during a divorce battle. Ask friends not to post pictures of you or your children, which could be misconstrued by an ex. Block automatic tagging on all social media sites. Stick to innocuous comments and birthday greetings while your divorce is pending.
