How should you discuss adoption with children?

On Behalf of | Oct 3, 2020 | Adoption |

No matter the age of your adopted child, you will eventually have to talk about his or her adoption. Informative decisions 

To talk to children about their adoption story is important to the child’s sense of self, explains Psychology Today. 

Do not be shy about the word adoption

For infants and toddlers, you might feel tempted not to mention the word adoption. Instead of hiding it, use it often. Your child does not need to remember the day he or she learned of the adoption. Instead, make it a regular part of the household vocabulary. 

Children love to hear stories, especially when those stories are about themselves. Engage with your children about their adoption story. If you feel creative, you can create a storybook for your child to keep. If the adoption occurred at the hospital or if you planned the adoption before his or her birth, share a photo of you and the biological mother. 

Prepare for the big questions

As children grow older, they will ask more questions. Children between the ages of two and four will have a lot of questions about their birth. Always tell them the truth. Older children, after the age of five may ask you even more difficult questions. They may want to know what happened to their birth parents or why they did not want them. Prepare for this question and if your child asks at an inopportune time, tell him or her you need time to answer. 

You can be honest about the birthmother’s decision but remember to emphasize that you are his or her forever parent and that you were meant to be family. 



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