If you are planning to share custody of your kids with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, it is perfectly normal to have some trepidation. After all, your ex likely will have unfettered access to your kids when you are not around. Hopefully, you can depend on your ex to parent your kids properly.
According to Psychology Today, there are four distinct parenting styles. If your ex’s parenting style is more carefree than yours, you may worry about his or her ability to make good child-related decisions. Specifically, you may fear your ex will leave your kids with someone you do not trust or even despise.
The role of a babysitter
No parent can be with the children at all times. Babysitters help to fill the void, as they watch the kids when the parent is not available. Still, the person who chooses the babysitter must be careful to find someone who is responsible. That does not always happen, though.
A refusal clause
It is not uncommon for parents who share custody to have the right of first refusal clauses in their custody agreements. These clauses require the parent to offer the other parent the opportunity to watch the kids in his or her absence before asking anyone else to do so.
Your peace of mind
If you do not want your ex to leave your kids with an irresponsible or dangerous person, having a right of first refusal clause in your custody agreement probably makes sense. Indeed, this clause allows you to retain some control over who cares for your kids during your non-parenting time.
Ultimately, because it can take time to negotiate a right of first refusal clause, you may want to broach the subject sooner rather than later.