Telling your children you want to split up with your spouse can be one of the most difficult conversations you can have throughout your divorce. How much they understand about divorce depends heavily on their age and ability to comprehend a breakup.
It is your job to ensure that your kids do not walk away from the conversation more upset than necessary. Most kids will remember important or life-changing events in their lives. Think about how your kids may remember the divorce talk for the rest of their lives and how you want them to remember it.
Come together as a family
Once you divorce, there will be fewer reasons to come together as a family. While you may want to split from your former spouse, he or she is still family to your children. Children may react better when they hear the news from both parents. When you sit down with your former spouse and your kids, you show them that you can work together for their best interests. Family meetings remind your kids that you are still a family and both of their parents have a commitment to them.
Forget about assigning blame
Do not worry about blame. Even if you blame your spouse, your kids do not need those details. If kids see you blaming one another, they may feel pressured to take sides. Instead, explain the reason for a divorce without assigning blame or discussing who you believe has fault. Children need reassurance, not difficult truths about your relationship.
When it comes to details about your divorce, keep those details age appropriate. In some cases, you do not need to give personal details. Instead, you should provide a general explanation.
